A couple of years back when I was still a fresher and quite young (not that I am old now, but age has a sinister way of catching up), I had the privilege (that is what we considered it then) of conducting an interview along with my manager. The candidate was a smart looking fella, with a neatly tucked in shirt and a 5 page resume and mine looked like a “Job needed” flyer back then, so you can imagine how inferior I felt. After the usual pleasantries my manager pushed the fork right into the meat of the interview and shot question after question. The candidate knocked every question down with a not so fluent but technically impeccable answer. Just when I thought that the candidate would land up the job, the following passed
Manager : What do you think is the role of the blah blah blah in the blah blah blah?
Candidate : blah blah blah blah………..
Clearly the candidate had no clue about what was being asked and my manager thought it was apt to reiterate the question. As my manager interrupted him, the candidate gave a “What the f*** dude. Did your mother never teach you manners?” look. Realizing that it was an inappropriate thing to do and with a slightly scratched ego, my manager said, “I am sorry. You go on”.
Believe it or not, the candidate stacked the resume along with a few other documents, put it in his something that looked like a vanity bag, got up and walked towards the door. Astonished, my manager asked him what he was doing. Pat came the answer, “Sir you asked me to go on!!”
Since then, I have grown into the role of a lead, and one of my responsibilities include interviewing people ranging from 2 to 12 years of experience. Initially, I was quite reluctant to interview people with more than 7 years of experience as I myself have a meager 3.5 years under my belt. But as time passed I realized it was not such a tough thing after all. It is boring but not tough.
Last month my company was trying to hire a technical project manager and the first round of screening had to be done by me. One of the candidates who came in, a really stupid looking, untidy person will be my favorite candidate. He had this “What the hell is happening? Where on earth am I?” look. But I thought to myself for my own misfortune, “Lets not go by looks. People say it can deceive you”. Deceive me, my ass. he was every bit as dumb as I had assumed him to be and perhaps more. He was working as an R & D engineer for some XYZ firm. He got out of college and became a project manager. And by college I do not mean a B school mind you. I asked him a few questions and told him that the company did not have a suitable position for him currently. He looked at me and he was probably thinking “You do not recognize genius do you?”. “you know what you should do,”, he said, “you should hire me. I am ready to negotiate the salary. I can add a lot of value to your company.”. Words failed me. I had just told him that he sucks, in a polite way. And he was telling me what I should do and what I should not. Just to maintain professional decorum and to humor him I asked him what would he do if hired. This is a phonetic gist of the things he said he would do
“Firstly, I will change everything. This looks like new Aaffice. but whaat I will do I will tell you. I am a good manager. I will manage aall people and tell them to work. I know all process. I will use my talent that have learnt in my other company in your company. I am good at delivery aalso. So your praduct will be delivered Aan time.”
Another candidate came in at around 6.30 in the evening. He was a full one hour late and I was packing up. But since it was a scheduled interview running behind schedule, I had to oblige. He was bad with words but had a very loud body language. the first couple of questions he just smiled and shook his head indicating that he did not know the answer. Then he started giggling for all the questions that he did not answer. Feeling a little stupid myself, I asked him if there was something funny. He shook his head again but continued to giggle. Deciding to wipe the grin off his face, i put a straight face and asked him to make me party to the joke. Still laughing, the chap said “It is silly”. Silly? What the hell is silly here?. “The questions are silly”, he said. Tugging on my temper I asked him why he felt so. And this was reply from a guy who could not write a Fibonacci series program even after the series was given and explained to him.
“I have an offer with infosys and wipro. I have a MCTS certification. So I am a technology expert. the questions that you are asking are irrelevant to me. What will I do knowing the things that you are asking? Nobody asks Fibonacci series program. I did it in college and I have forgotten it now”
This is just a peek into the kind of candidates that are at large in the city of Bangalore. I will try to come back with some more morons and their adventures in the posts to follow.