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Another lonely night

The days fly by
like the winds of westerly
I get not, a moment to think about tomorrow
Nights are all I have
But they are too lonely to share my sorrow
All I wish is a companion to stand by me;
To help me fight
But again, all I have is another lonely night

I look into the depths of the mind
Searching for a smile
All I find is a tormented child
Inside me, I have died
Failure has made me furious and wild
I look to the horizon
Waiting for the light
But again, all I have is another lonely night

To live or to die
To laugh or to cry
I ask myself these
And to find the answers, I try
I wait for a hand to guide me along
To take me in the direction right
For I am a wandering kite
But again, all I have is another lonely night


Ufff yeh candidates!!

A couple of years back when I was still a fresher and quite young (not that I am old now, but age has a sinister way of catching up), I had the privilege (that is what we considered it then) of conducting an interview along with my manager. The candidate was a smart looking fella, with a neatly tucked in shirt and a 5 page resume and mine looked like a “Job needed” flyer back then, so you can imagine how inferior I felt. After the usual pleasantries my manager pushed the fork right into the meat of the interview and shot question after question. The candidate knocked every question down with a not so fluent but technically impeccable answer. Just when I thought that the candidate would land up the job, the following passed

Manager : What do you think is the role of the blah blah blah in the blah blah blah?
Candidate : blah blah blah blah………..

Clearly the candidate had no clue about what was being asked and my manager thought it was apt to reiterate the question. As my manager interrupted him, the candidate gave a “What the f*** dude. Did your mother never teach you manners?” look. Realizing that it was an inappropriate thing to do and with a slightly scratched ego, my manager said, “I am sorry. You go on”.

Believe it or not, the candidate stacked the resume along with a few other documents, put it in his something that looked like a vanity bag, got up and walked towards the door. Astonished, my manager asked him what he was doing. Pat came the answer, “Sir you asked me to go on!!”

Since then, I have grown into the role of a lead, and one of my responsibilities include interviewing people ranging from 2 to 12 years of experience. Initially, I was quite reluctant to interview people with more than 7 years of experience as I myself have a meager 3.5 years under my belt. But as time passed I realized it was not such a tough thing after all. It is boring but not tough.
Last month my company was trying to hire a technical project manager and the first round of screening had to be done by me. One of the candidates who came in, a really stupid looking, untidy person will be my favorite candidate. He had this “What the hell is happening? Where on earth am I?” look. But I thought to myself for my own misfortune, “Lets not go by looks. People say it can deceive you”. Deceive me, my ass. he was every bit as dumb as I had assumed him to be and perhaps more. He was working as an R & D engineer for some XYZ firm. He got out of college and became a project manager. And by college I do not mean a B school mind you. I asked him a few questions and told him that the company did not have a suitable position for him currently. He looked at me and he was probably thinking “You do not recognize genius do you?”. “you know what you should do,”, he said, “you should hire me. I am ready to negotiate the salary. I can add a lot of value to your company.”. Words failed me. I had just told him that he sucks, in a polite way. And he was telling me what I should do and what I should not. Just to maintain professional decorum and to humor him I asked him what would he do if hired. This is a phonetic gist of the things he said he would do

“Firstly, I will change everything. This looks like new Aaffice. but whaat I will do I will tell you. I am a good manager. I will manage aall people and tell them to work. I know all process. I will use my talent that have learnt in my other company in your company. I am good at delivery aalso. So your praduct will be delivered Aan time.”

Another candidate came in at around 6.30 in the evening. He was a full one hour late and I was packing up. But since it was a scheduled interview running behind schedule, I had to oblige. He was bad with words but had a very loud body language. the first couple of questions he just smiled and shook his head indicating that he did not know the answer. Then he started giggling for all the questions that he did not answer. Feeling a little stupid myself, I asked him if there was something funny. He shook his head again but continued to giggle. Deciding to wipe the grin off his face, i put a straight face and asked him to make me party to the joke. Still laughing, the chap said “It is silly”. Silly? What the hell is silly here?. “The questions are silly”, he said. Tugging on my temper I asked him why he felt so. And this was reply from a guy who could not write a Fibonacci series program even after the series was given and explained to him.
“I have an offer with infosys and wipro. I have a MCTS certification. So I am a technology expert. the questions that you are asking are irrelevant to me. What will I do knowing the things that you are asking? Nobody asks Fibonacci series program. I did it in college and I have forgotten it now”

This is just a peek into the kind of candidates that are at large in the city of Bangalore. I will try to come back with some more morons and their adventures in the posts to follow.

As the night glowed
In the fires of the magic spell
Witches and wizards
Sounded the gongs of hell

Awakening the passion
of a sleeping beast
with flowing wine
and a sumptuous feast

“Little do you know
the cost of your merriment”,
Said the moon,
the smiling crescent

The wind came howling
to put out the fire
But it was too late
and the flames crept higher

There she stood
wearing the gown of flames
She was Cruella
known by a thousand names.

She stood in all splendor
to make all wishes fulfill
To look at her
would send shivers down their spine, a cold chill

The witches and wizards
danced around
with their toes
shaking the ground

The flames engulfed the world
in her heathen desire
The earth became for humanity
its funeral pyre

Soon all that was left
were the wizards and witched
Nothing to live for
No pleasures, no riches

“Damned be you”,
said they all out loud
But she looked at them
wearing cloaks that soon would be shroud

“Now that all is gone
Its your turn”,
said she
that they would all burn

“I am Cruella,
I know no sleep.
I am fire
from shoal to deep.”

Thine eyes so divine,
Never could I find the abyss,
Crying out in pain,
Begging life to cease.
For every pain I have given
I shall be denied salvation
So oft do I feel,
my death shall be your liberation.

How often I have sinned
never feeling your sorrow,
Best I could do
was assure you a better morrow.
Hurting you no pleasure can I derive,
Hurting you how can i survive.
To me you are sweet,
best of gods creation.
How oft do I feel
my death shall be your liberation.

Together we have played
Together we have cried
Undivided have we stood
As one we have tried.
My heart fails me
and so does my mind
To leave you my precious
ever so kind.
Is it not treacherous that a fair one like you must live with me
Kings and lords of castles deserves thee.
often I see in my mind in meditation
And today I know,
My death will be your liberation.

The vedic atheist

GOD. Now, here is a word that every man, irrespective of his culture and faith, uses a few times a day. Most often it comes out of habit and even though The Bible conveniently calls the usage of the word in ordinary circumstances blasphemous, an average christian probably uses the word more than anybody else. But how often do we stop to think about the essence of that word?
For an agnostic bordering on atheism, like me, the word stands uselessly like a peaking mound of loose soil; neither does it provide shelter nor does it give me the joy of trekking to the top. Having a Vaishnavite upbringing (I would have said Hindu, but that is for another story), I still do perform all the rituals associated with “communion with god” and other bigger and heavier phrases as the one before. But why do I, who does not believe in the existence of GOD, perform these rituals associated with big, fancy words and phrases like Moksha, nirvana, liberation? Am I just a hypocrite who wants to stand out as the odd man?
God had been imbibed into me. God had become a part of every constitutional of mine. God was used to make me understand good and bad. God was used to make me eat Tulsi leaves. God was what made me the man I am today. The god that did not exist. When I first started thinking consciously and critically about god, I was quite certain that there must be a superior being who created all that was around, sustained it, and then eventually destroyed it. As I continued to think, I started seeing weakness in my own arguments in favor of GOD. The more I thought, the weaker god became to the extent that GOD became just a word to throw into a sentence to make it sound all the more expensive.
There was a time in the history of man kind when science had very little to do with the world. But man always wanted answers. In the absence of science, the only other entity that could explain what happened and why it did happen was GOD. The Omniscient, the omnipotent god. So god became the creator, and the destroyer. Such a god must have been a capitalist who could, with a snap of his fingers, create the universe and with a fart, destroy the world. Soon science was shaping up. But it was a niche art and not many would understand the explanation that science provided. God came to the rescue again. Scientific approaches and practices were wrapped with a foil of ritual and the outcome was attributed to the benevolence of God. The men of science who used god as a prop were smart enough to make sure that none would ask them that one question the answer to which would crumble the very foundations of the scientific – pseudo religious society that they had built; “Who created god?”. It was blasphemous. In parallel with science, other philosophical fields started cropping up. Society started expanding. For society to sustain, cordiality became necessary. Until then, men were hunters, having their own territories. Anybody violating the boundaries would probably be killed. Regulation of law became difficult. Once again GOD rushed to the rescue. The same bullet was being fired again and again and it was amazing how the bullet never lost the firepower. The fancy god could not only create and destroy the universe, but now he could also micro manage. He would keep a record of every mans action. Anybody who would not abide by the laws of the society would be a sinner. And sins undoubtedly would be punished. But then again there are always people who have their cake and eat it too. So some sinners would lead a joyous life. So god became responsible for reincarnating every soul. The punishments for ill deeds crossed the boundaries of the present life into the realms of future births.
It is quite amazing as to how one single concept was conjured up and every person would dance to its tune then onwards for the rest of the life time of mankind. God, the word “GOD”, had a place reserved at the pinnacle of every thought, at the heart of every action, at the bottom of every science. But this god never existed. And this god to this day does not exist.
It was my intention to explain why I practice the rituals that are associated with God, but that I will reserve for another time. Until then, think about this. “If god can answer the question of your creation, can he answer the question of his creation? If he cannot, then how is he omniscient?”

If god is a capitalist then let us severe all ties with him for he is selfish. If he a communist then he is the greatest hypocrite for he does not believe in the religion which is his royal seat. If he is a socialist let us call upon him to toil with us.
Aptly said, isn’t it?